Keep it simple...stupid.

As I start to write this..another phone call from someone else who wants something. I've reached the point of dreading the next phone call so much that I pretty much deliberately let calls go directly into voicemail. Pressure and stress are interesting in that many times, at least in my case, they are self generated and accumulated. I used to think of my life as a cluttered desk at work. No matter how much of the work you try to do, the pile on the desk gets bigger and bigger. It gets so high that you just want to shove it all off in one fell swoop..all into the trash...and start over fresh, trying not to make the same decisions and mistakes that led to the huge pile in the first place. It's like your life can become the two car garage that can barely accomodate a bicycle because of all of the junk and trash that you've accumulated. Clearing it out and making it neat, clean, and functional again becomes such a daunting task that you begin to try and ignore it and hope that it goes away. It's like being overweight. Imagine walking around with a pair of 20 lb weights all day long and then each day picking up an even heavier set to carry around. At some point, the weight begins to affect you knees, your back, your feet, your entire body feels as if the force of gravity had doubled or tripled. Every inch of you screams out for release and rejuvenation. You think, "If I can just hold out a little bit longer, things will get better.", but they seem to get more difficult instead. The older I get, the more I yearn for simplification and peace of mind. I yearn for calm and the absence of anger and confrontation. I often wonder how I've allowed my life to become so encumbered and complicated. Too many people and too many things to worry about. Not enough time in the day, the week, the month, the rest of life to sort it all out it seems. What would it be like to be able to sit down...write it all out...arrange it all...sort it out...deal with it? Meanwhile, the clock keeps ticking. Another phone call...great. I don't like phones much right now.